524

Still not knowing what I am sick from.

523

The computer is STILL giving me a headache.

522

That somebody wants me to go to Ellis Island for an opportunity to "interview celebrities!" Celebrities!

521

THIS:
"NEW YORK, May 7, 2007 -- What do the world of hip-hop and
kosher vending have in common? A lot, according to Ruby
Azrak, former Phat Farm executive and partner to hip hop
mogul Russell Simmons, and current producer of House of
Dereon, superstar Beyonce's family brand."

520

I'm paying to audition.

519

My friend's meds aren't working. They never work.

518

The guy selling batteries on the subway said his profession was "God's will." That's mean of God.

517

Sorting out household belongings in a divorce. I'd rather throw it all out in the alley and let the ghetto dogs rent it in with their foaming, rabid jaws of death. Maybe that would shut them up for a minute.

516

Filling out and or picking up divorce paperwork on your lunch hour.

515

When the crying child next door joins in the late night ghetto dog chorus. They're here all week folks. All week, every week.

514

I look tired.

513

Being told, "you look tired" by the first person I see walking into the office. Not only do I want to throttle you right now for being such a colossal douche, but as an added bonus I get to walk around paranoid that everyone I see all day long will also think I look tired.

512

"You look tired." Why has humanity yet to figure out that no one -- NO ONE -- ever wants to be told, "you look tired"?

511

I have time at work to write music but the problem is the walls are inspiration-proof and the lights emit muse-killing rays.

510

Phone calls from people with not so much brains as ear wax.

509

That the girl I'm seeing has to leave for work at 5 am every single day.

508

Sources who tell you things they're not supposed to tell you and then don't call back with a source who can actually tell you that thing so you can write about it.

507

I really MUST get two giant zits on the day I'm doing an agent showcase. Smart thinking, skin!

506

The chorus of barking ghetto dogs in my alley, of which my next door neighbor's two vicious dogs are the ringleaders. These idiot beasts always wake or keep me up at night, and someday I will simply have to poison them, mark my words.

505

A guaranteed headache on the same day every month. I should start marking my calendar.