1,821

Random stomach viruses that make the successful eating of one f%&%#ing rice cake feel like a real victory for humanity.

1,820

Losing someone you love in a horrible, inexplicable way that breaks your heart on a daily basis.

1,819

MUCH worse: your little child being very sick for a whole month and feeling utterly helpless.

1,818

Being sick for a whole month.

1,817

We are closing in on the FOUR YEAR anniversary of this blog and haven't even cracked 2,000. People, get pissed will you?

1.816

Forced airing of grievances.

1,815

Living in a different city than all of my best friends.

1,814

The Axe Detailer and advertisements thereof.

1,813

People who leave ginormous christmas displays on ALL NIGHT LONG. There's no way you can spin that to be a good thing. I dare you.

1,812

Not enough accolades? You know what? No.

1,811

No Columbus Day off? Even though I'm a guido?

1,810

Bedbug infestations. Really?

1,809

People who use the phrase "inartful" to describe things they wish they hadn't said. Weasel word! Weasel word!

1,808

Just write me back. I don't care if you're rejecting me, just write fucking back. God. Just hit fucking reply. FUCK.

1,807

Having to drive through the intersection of Oxford and 5th in Koreatown twice a day, every day. It is where the column of idiocy and the row of danger intersect in an Excel spreadsheet called "The World's Biggest Fucking Horrorshow Ever".

1,806

The cold terror of a vague impending financial doom.

1,805

Having the world's stupidest receptionist and having been the one to hire her in the first place.

1,804

Getting called back, but not cast. Fuck you, I'm as good as it gets.

1,803

Being too confounded by the horror of it all to post the things that piss you off. For months.

1,802

Bizarre emails from my dad about all the "widows" he's trying and failing to date.