1,379

That the computer/internet has such power over me that I just found myself alone in my apartment hollering "Oh come on!" at my laptop. It's infuriating. And it's infuriating that it's infuriating.

1,378

Fucking wireless router. Seriously, is it completely impossible for me to find a simple fucking wireless router that fucking connects to the fucking internet? Everyone else's wireless routers are working perfectly fine. I can tell because I can see them all with their snooty little pad-lock symbols on my computer screen. What am I doing wrong? What could I possibly be doing wrong? ggggaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.

1,377

Always being the worst dressed person in the office.

1,376

$299 a night for a hotel room that has not even been properly cleaned.

1,375

The luxurious private waiting rooms, giant seats and good wines offered to rich airline travelers while the plebians lay in piles on the floor, sit in cramped quarters and have to drink cheap Gallo.

1,374

Bloated corporate headquarters that charge their captive workforce to eat at their cafeteria, the only available food for miles around.

1,373

The lack of aesthetically pleasing and affordable hybrid models.

1,372

Electric cars being successfully produced, and then completely confiscated for working too well. Fucking oil...

1,371

Polar bears drowning as their habitats melt away.

1,370

Airline passengers not having a bill of rights.

1,369

The weird dude in the creepy red van who pulled up next to me at 11:30 p.m. while I was walking my dog and started a "friendly" conversation.

Uh...man? I don't care if you were "just being friendly."

Here's a tip: Nice, friendly men don't pull up a creepy red van and start conversations with young ladies walking their dogs in the middle of the night.

Especially conversations that end with "Hey! You wanna see MY big DOGGIE?"

1,368

Having to deal with the creepy feeling of someone else's pee on the back of my right thigh for an entire day because some lady peed on a toilet seat and it seeped through the toilet seat cover and I just can't stop thing about it or feeling the phantom pee on the back of my thigh and even though it's been 5 hours my thigh still feels sort of cold and terrible and I live too far away to go home and take a shower.

1,367

The lady in my work building who keeps peeing on the toilet seat.

That's right. "Lady."

Look lady, I don't know how you are managing to do that, but I assure you I am not impressed.

And I want you to stop.

1,366

The douche who sits next to me at my shitty job.

1,365

Because it didn't occur to me to eat before I left for work (at about 11:30) I will now have to spend $10 at Cosi or some fascist "custom salad" joint to hold me til dinner. Good thing that's about how much money I've made so far this week.

1,364

How do pens just disappear like that? You know what I mean.
Poof.

1,363

Number 1,357. Right on. Fuckin A.

1,362

Bastard people who come out of nowhere and outbid me IN THE LAST FIVE SECONDS on ebay for something that I really needed for the album photo shoot. Goddammit!!

1,361

Going into a small liquor store to buy Triple Sec. When I ask the nice man who barely speaks English for "Triple Sec" he looks at me blankly then yells out, "Hey Manuel! Do we have Triple Sex? This girl here wants Triple Sex. Triple Sex!" Then he looks at me and says, "So...what's that for?"

1,360

Having to get up at 5:30 AM to catch a flight to D.C. and then read approximately 450 pages of hospitality industry technical jargon during said flight en route to a lengthy and ominous sounding "design immersion" meeting. Ack, corporate world- get thee behind me, Satan!

1,359

CBS cancelled Jericho, a show that I was obliged to watch because a friend created it, and now I'm all hooked into it and it's going to die...AGAIN. Humph.

1,358

I had to miss a final on Wednesday. Why? The plague - fever, sinus infection, cough, headache, the works. The professor demanded a doctor's note - which pisses me off, because if I were well enough to take the bus to school to go to Student Health, I would have been able to, I don't know, take the bus to the final? Moron. How do these people get Ph.D.s?

1,357

Tick-tock. Do Do Do-do. Time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin...Into the future.

Both the lyric and the notion.

1,356

The photographs of people with psychotic wide smiles, and robot-perfect, white teeth, stationed around your dentist's office.

1,355

The shivery feeling you get when a dentist is cleaning your teeth and vibrates one of those nerve-endings.

1,354

Emails like this are why I hate Facebook:

Here is what your friends think about...
... your strengths:
most studious
most absentee

... your weaknesses:
person with the best taste in music
coolest

HEY THANKS, "FRIENDS!" FUCK YOU, TOO!!

1,353

All the important things I forget on a daily basis and I remember that it's my college boyfriend's birthday today. (And his phone number.) I couldn't be using all this brain matter for something remotely applicable to my life?

1,352

flaks.

1,351

I need a haircut.

1,350

Being so goddamn sensitive.

1,349

The fact that it's impossible in this life NOT to somehow hurt people you love.

1,348

Well then, I guess most of all, me hurting those I love.

1,347

Those I love hurting others of those that I love.

1,346

For that matter, people at non-pancake establishments who hurt those I love.

1,345

People at pancake establishments who hurt those I love.

1,344

I don't trust myself around food, either.

1,343

Just being socially stupid and awkward and saying stupid things and feeling like a jerk and this is why I fear being around humans. It's me I don't trust.

1,342

Being invited to dinner by someone who never cooks for me and then getting a call asking, "so what are you bringing?"

1341

Having to "manage" Steve-O.

1340

Steve-O.

1339

People just generally sucking.

1,338

"Maybe tomorrow."

I think I just lost my mind.

1,337

The weakness of the dollar against the Pound and Euro. You suck, America!

1,336

I am outraged on behalf of my friend.

1335

Not to mention the vet bills, computer repair, and moving expenses that had to be put on credit cards over the past 6 weeks. Ramen, anyone?

1334

The fact that the only reason I did not owe MORE taxes was because I "saved" $500 by itemizing the $2,500 I spent out of pocket (after modest box office receipts) on a Fringe show last year. So, really, when you think about it, I'm actually out $4K for last year. At least the Philly show was fun!

1333

Owing the government 2K in taxes on spousal support due to not being able to pay the last quarterly estimated payment once my asshole ex-husband suddenly decided to stop paying said support, leaving me no way to pay ANY of the godammned taxes.

1,332

Wow, a whole week and no one is even slightly miffed? About anything?

1,331

Two and a half years of nonstop back/neck/headache pain, and I only JUST TODAY finally went to a doctor who can actually help me.

1,330

When expectations aren't communicated, and then you're chastised for not living up to them.

1,329

Having said person be a well-intentioned family member so you can't really be cranky with them but neither are they the kind that takes criticism too well so you can't really point out this annoyance even in a sarcastic or teasing sort of way.

1,328

People who say a "trendy" cliche, such as "been there, done that," at least once every five sentences.

1,327

Promptly followed by your daughter getting bit by a dog with no clear vet and/or vaccine records.

1,326

Starting off a weekend with someone backing into your PARKED car.

1,325

Alarm accidentally being set to 6 AM instead of 8 AM.

1,324

Unintentionally hurting someone's feelings.