1,142

The phrase "my bad."

1,141

Trying to have a conversation with someone whose biggest goal in life is to "be a Bond girl!"

1,140

Having to "clean my cubicle and have only certain things visible" because of the VISITING RICH OIL BARONS FROM ABU DHABI. Are you freakin kidding me?

1,139

Having to stay in during lunch because of VISITING RICH OIL BARONS FROM ABU DHABI.

1,138

Being disproportionally hungover from 2 beers.

1,137

CHRISTMAS MUSIC

1,136

Favorite sneakers: unwearable, discontinued, unreplaceable.

1,136

God seems to hate my face.

1,135

Over-caffeination and no focus for that energy.

1,133

Ditto, the people who have handicap parking permits and don't need them.

1,132

People who use the handicap door openers who are not handicapped. Laziness is not a handicap.

1,131

daily overhead-office-light-induced headaches.

1,130

shitty tweezers.

1,129

I should have a lot more to show for myself.

1,128

Women in public restrooms who pee with such force it sounds like they're in there playing California firefighter. I don't know why this ... ugh ... pisses me off so much, but it really drives me crazy. I don't need to hear that. If you're within range for normal human urethral diameter and aren't pregnant (or in some other way diseased) I shouldn't feel like I need to duck and cover when you tinkle.

1,128

"Bad Chemicals," as Kurt Vonnegut might put it.

1,126

Lately, being physically unable to sleep in on days off.

1,125

Dragging myself like a snail unwillingly to work after a great long weekend of doing what I WANT to do with my life.

1,124

Insomnia.

1,123

Not being able to be honest with other people about something.

1,122

People not being honest about something.

1,121

Illness in da' house!

1,120

Having to miss the fun and camaraderie I have come to associate with Thanksgiving.

1,119

Hollywood types who just can't reach outside themselves enough to relate or have compassion for anyone else around them.

1,118

Having a co-star who leaves the set after the wrap without just a courtesy goodbye or handshake, seeing as we'd just spent the last two days working so hard together. Nothing.

1,117

Having a co-star who believes he's a vampire and says things like this completely seriously: "I come alive when the sun goes down."

1,116

Having a co-star who is begging the sound guy or anyone else around for some Vicodin.

1,115

Having a co-star who arrives to set late and having had only three hours of sleep and he is so out of it his hands are shaking and he almost passes out during a take because he was up all night fighting with his "crazy girlfriend."

1,114

When remarking to said co-star that his hair looks very different in his reel, co-star responding, "I'm a shapeshifter."

1,113

Having a co-star who makes you watch his reel on his iPhone.

1,112

Having a co-star who makes you looks at his headshots on his iPhone.

1,111

Having a co-star who ANSWERS HIS PHONE during a rehearsal take.

1,110

Having a co-star who CLOSES HIS EYES while doing a take with you, since the camera can't see his face.

1,109

Having a co-star who doesn't greet you in the morning.

1,108

Having an unbelievably self-involved co-star.

1,107

Having to be a bitch.

1,106

Girl knocking on my office door: Hi! I am from the women's basketball team! I am selling pies to earn money for uniforms. Today is the last day, are you interested?

Me: No.

1,105

Girl at a gas station selling cosmetics: Hi! Excuse me! Can I have a minute of your time?

Me: Um. No, you can't.

1,104

Being too sober to forget.

1,103

Being too drunk to remember.

1,102

The fact that I was so tired from writing lame bios of lawyers for my freelance job that I actually read 1,100 as 2,000. Good God.

1,101

Having the honor and distinction of writing the 2,000th posting to this blog is, perhaps, the most fulfilling thing I have done today.

1,100

The fact that the First Year Alcohol Education Course does not, I might add, include drinks recipes or tips for slicing a lemon so that the slices stay neatly on the edge of the glass looking elegant and soignee, rather than like clumsily chopped hunks of lemon.

1,099

The fact that a formal protest of said mandatory First Year Alcohol Education Course is utterly useless, and will only result in an escalating battle of snide, increasingly hostile emails betwixt me and the hideous, patronizing, obtusely bureaucratic hag who crouches over the desk in the First Year Alcohol Education Course Coordination Office.

1,098

My university has informed me that although I am a 26 year old transfer student, I must nevertheless complete a mandatory online First Year Alcohol Education Course, or be blocked from registering for spring quarter.

1,097

Pre cut hams. I want to cut my own goddamned ham.

1,096

Expensive spices. Spices should be free with any purchase, if you ask me.

1,095

When your buddy can't come to Turkey Day.

1,094

When your sweetie can't come to Turkey Day.

1,093

Marking time doing nothing when you could be elsewhere doing MANY other things.

1,092

$300 left after paying bills.

1,091

The entire wing of the building I'm working on is sick. There's NO ONE here.

1,090

It is physically impossible to look good the whole week of my period.

1,089

Thinking that you've requested the right RSP's for censorship, but then Ciniram is all "Dude, we didn't get that request." WTF?!

1,088

Having to spend all the money I'm making on a film to purchase wardrobe for said film.

1,087

The neighbors that decided to have a very loud party on their balcony until 2 in the morning, even after being asked nicely to go inside and close the windows.

1,086

Getting dragged into another couple's lovers spat.

1,085

Jenkem.

1,084

Fuck you, you old bitch.

1,083

My absolutely bat-shit insane neighbor, banging on my door and yelling because I parked in front of her house and she wanted me to move my car.

1,082

Paresthesia.

1,081

Feeling certain beloved, guiding lights in your life pulling away and knowing there's nothing you can do but let them go.

1,080

Rapid mood swings.

1,079

Low Blood Sugar.

1,078

Just overheard, re: striking writers outside: "Get a job as a waiter if you hate it so much. I do not have any sympathy for them at all."

1,077

Getting so many texts that you get a text telling you to delete texts in order to receive the next text incoming.

1,076

Having to just accept being shit on because it will do more damage to the shitter-on to stand up for yourself than it does to you to just take it and shut up.

1,075

When the internet connection goes down at work, even if it is only for 15 minutes. Those 15 minutes suck.

1,074

The extremely loud BABY SHOWER going on in the waiting room outside my office. My door is shut and I STILL can't hold a phone conversation.

1073

Making an honest mistake.

1072

My dear friend is in a loveless marriage.

1071

To devote your life to a place that then throws you away when you aren't young enough anymore.

1070

Not being able to thank a person properly before they are gone forever.

1069

Losing another important mentor in my life to cancer.

1,068

Getting a raise and still not making nearly enough to break even let alone start whittling down debt.

1,067

Spending money to make money.

1,066

I'm really just grumpy because my back hurts. Gah.

1,065

Knowing the movie I'm about to be in is going to be pretty wretched.

1,064

The bird that decided to poop on my friend's head. That is so rude.

1,063

Someone canceling two days in a row.

1,062

Having a friend who is a hermit (and doesn't do myspace or facebook or blogging or anything so I don't know what the hell they are up to).

1,061

Facebook is weird and confusing and I just joined for the band but it forced me to make a personal profile and forced me to show my last name and I'm kind of annoyed by that but also by just the proliferation of networking sites and why people migrate from one to another and why in the world do people share such detailed information about trivial crap and it makes me worried about the future and divulging things you shouldn't and the possible roundup of everyone who has some kind of dissident opinion because we're so traceable now and I think I'm becoming overly paranoid and the future of the internet means less privacy and I'm one to talk I blog all the time but on days like this I feel like shutting down and never sharing anything again but then I think of how nice it is to communicate with my friends so I keep doing it.

1,060

The oh-so-fickle nature of the immune system.

1,059

The lord givething and the lord takething away.

1,057

Why in the world did I just eat that Reese's Peanut Butter Cup?

1,056

God damn pigs.

1,055

Getting pulled over and ticketed for making an illegal right turn after stopping to clean sticky brown soda off my car windows.

1,054

Having to take time out on the way to work to pull over and clean said sticky brown soda off my car windows.

1,053

For the love of sweet, sweet Jesus. Do you people have NOTHING to do other than think about your car, where it is parked, and where other people are parking their cars??!!

1,052

Whoever it is in my stupid neighborhood who keeps throwing sticky brown soda on my car at night. 4th time this week.

1,051

The Writer's Strike is already costing the jobs of people I know.

1,050

Angst, in general.

1,049

Existential angst.

1,048

Not being able to make myself think of anything that's not work related.

1,047

Not actually having any work to do, but having to remain AT work.

1,046

Being so goddamned sensitive about everything and everyone.

1,045

Constantly living in fear of hurting someone's feelings or stepping on someone's toes or making someone angry and in so doing not living an authentic life.

1,044

The magnificent hang-over I suffered all day yesterday through.

1046

My asshole boss. I know its cliche, but the guy is evil. He learned how to manage from a book titled 'The Marine Core Way', from which he will from time to time throw us little golden nuggets of wisdom. Never mind that he has a never served a day of his life in any of the armed services.

1,045

A meeting titled, "How Not To Waste Time At Work."

1,044

Bullshit office politics.