1,424

In a meeting today I actually uttered the phrase, "I want to maximize your effort." Jeebus help me! I'm becoming one of them! I might as well have thrown in, "I want a new, more proactive paradigm."

1,423

Having to suffer fools.

1,422

I have to report for jury duty at 7:30 AM tomorrow. 7:30? Really?

1,421

The Gossip Girl OMFG ad campaign.

1,420

I know it's not really a big deal, but I'm still really grumpy about having to move cubicles. *Grumble grumble grumble*

1,419

And also mentioned numerous times how she had nothing to look forward to, now that she is 25, except for renting a car.

1,418

And when no one expressed enough interest in her, she brought in balloons for herself.

1,417

The temp in my office who talked for 3 straight days about how it was either, the day before, the day of, and the day after, her birthday.

1,416

That the most interesting and timely topic of conversation most people I work with can converse upon during lunch is whether or not Madonna's daughter should be waxing off her Frida Kahlo unibrow.

1,415

It's 7 PM and I am still at work, entering my first thing to be pissed off about in over 3 weeks because I have not had a computer in 3 weeks, because something called the "logic board" took a ginormous shit and the dumbass mac repair company who was supposed to send it back to apple two weeks ago did not send it for some apparently inexplicable reason and is only now sending it to apple today, so it will actually be at least another week before I can really let you all know the many, many things that have been pissing me off all of this goddamned time, but boy, when I do, I'm tellin' ya- it's gonna be a real shit storm!

1,414

I just found out through hearsay that I am being moved away from my awesome cubicle next to my husband. Better yet, it's happening immediately, people have known about it for a while, and no one told me, the lowly temp. All because this girl thinks my cubicle is slightly bigger than hers (they look the same to me) and wants it. I am so depressed.

1,413

First day wearing a nice new shirt and in 4 hours I've already stained it.

1,412

People who exclaim proudly that they're not registered to vote.

1,411

We are in the most bizarre, frustrating holding pattern with our album release. Really weird!

1,410

God bless this mess

1,409

Dad very sick, refusing to take proper meds to get better.

1,408

Constantly expecting normal behavior and constantly being proven wrong but continuing to hope despite no evidence to the contrary.

1,407

Just never feeling like it's enough, or that you've said the right thing, or not said the right thing, or believe the right thing, or do the right thing, with family.

1,406

My family aggressively and knowingly refuses to recycle ANYTHING.

1,405

Having to be the mom.

1,404

I am about to hand a cherished family heirloom over to someone who has no sense of its meaning and worth and could very well lose it.

1,403

Albuquerque, just in general, and all the ways it can mess with your mind.

1,402

Reckless people making reckless decisions that will have consequences on everyone else around them.

1,400

Getting what I think might be my first real full-on migraine. But not really knowing for sure. But feeling crappy, regardless.

1,401

A fear I've only felt twice in my life before...but both of those times said fear proved to be fruitless.

1,399

How COULD you, Hollywood? Seriously, how could you?

1,398

Steampunk.

1,397

I'm not sure how to even relate this story. At a meal, I was sitting at a table with two extras who said they were "directors." This one ding-a-ling was talking about this "brilliant" pilot he'd written, that required demons and humans battling and something about a very angry mayor. He kept talking about how great a director he is and how it's bound to make lots of money and how Sci-Fi network is sure to love it.

I said to him, "do you do extra work often?" (because mainly I was just amazed that people can tolerate doing this kind of thing for a living). To which he replied, "well, I have done EVERYTHING ELSE in this business, so I'm doing this so I can learn how to be an ACTOR'S director. You know how people say that Ron Howard is an ACTOR'S director? That's what I want to be. So I figure I've got to get in with the people and learn how they think. Because ACTORS tend to say the lines in ways that I don't agree with and I want to find ways to tell them to say it my way."

Uh huh. OR, you are one day away from the soup kitchen and need the $80/day so you can pay your rent at the YMCA.

1,396

It is only at the 19th hour that the dingey girl I've had to sit with says, "I brought a deck of cards!"

WHY DIDN'T YOU BREAK THAT SHIT OUT 19 HOURS AGO??

1,395

I'm in line for our catered meal and an extra behind me, a middle-aged dude, says to me:

"Well, now I can cross that off my list."

"Huh?" says I.

"Sort of had dinner with David Spade. Check."

I look over and see Spade leaving.

"That was on your list?!?!?" I ask incredulously.

"Ha. Well, you got me there. I just hope he doesn't recognize me!"

"Huh?" again.

"I lead tour groups past his house and sometimes he doesn't appreciate that. Which I understand, privacy and all, but...he's a celebrity!"

"That's creepy." I say, and turn around.

1,394

Skinny, stick figure actor girls who, after grabbing a huge plate of chicken wings from the craft service table say, "I NEVER eat wings in public!"

"You eat them in private?"

"Well...I never eat them in front of people."

"Why?"

"Too messy! I get stuff on my face! I don't want anyone to see me with stuff on my face!"

...and then she proceeds to chow down. *uggggh* I hate girly girls.

1,393

Girls who talk in high-pitched baby doll voices.

1,392

Waiting and doing nothing for 20 hours for ten minutes of shooting and 30 seconds of background screen time is not ever worth it ever.

1,391

Actors who think they have "made it" because they are extras on a sitcom with David Spade.

1,390

Actors, the bottom-feeder scummy kind, are intolerable to hang out with for more than a couple minutes.

1,389

That it doesn't matter that I got all my work (and some of my douchebag co"worker"'s) done on time. I have to sit here and wait for everyone else to get their shit together.

1,388

A two person show winning award meant for an ensemble. UTTER. BULLSHIT.

1,387

"That's SO meta."

1,386

"It's not gonna suck itself"

1,385

"Single and ready to mingle!" (both the t-shirt and the framed poster of the t-shirt)

(Nods to the Q'otic M.H. )

1,384

Just really not being able to relate to 99% of what seems to interest other people.

1,383

When the cadence of a co-worker's voice sounds like someone chewing glass. Everytime. They. Shrilly. Fucking. Speak.

1,382

When your entire department of 20 people goes out to lunch together and invites everyone but the new guy who started 3 days ago, the 5 temps, and you.

1,381

This current episode of This American Life.

1,380

There's a girl in the office here who drags her feet when she walks and it sounds exactly like nails scratching a chalkboard. It makes my hair stand on end and, really, there's nothing I can do about it.